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Anabolic agents are prohibited. S1.1. ANABOLIC ANDROGENIC STEROIDS (AAS) Prednisone; Triamcinolone acetonide. Note: Other routes of
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Anabolic agents are prohibited. S1.1. ANABOLIC ANDROGENIC STEROIDS (AAS) Prednisone; Triamcinolone acetonide. Note: Other routes of
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Anabolic agents are prohibited. S1.1. ANABOLIC ANDROGENIC STEROIDS (AAS) Methylprednisolone; Mometasone; Prednisolone; Prednisone
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AND NON-CONTROLLED SUBSTANCE(S). Substance: I - Prednisone. II The substances are not anabolic steroids nor derivatives of anabolic steroids.
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Anabolic agents are prohibited. S1.1. ANABOLIC ANDROGENIC STEROIDS (AAS) Prednisone; Triamcinolone acetonide. Note: Other routes of
Comments
Goodness, do all such folks have to be possessed of IQs lower than their age? How does this guy manage to dress himself?
Given all that family and friends dished out on him, I'm surprised that: (a) he hadn't been institutionalized; and (b) his revenge was so weak...poison ivy/oak for most folks, a few days of prednisone will handle that.
The story flowed reasonably well. You did a bunch of transitions but not recalling your other stories, this one was intelligible.
I liked the interaction between the mom and the son. A nice bit of characterization.
The scene about her butt was a nice complement to the story. You could have been a bit more subtle there, but it put a coda on what was happening.
Three Critique/Questions
Why do you hate pronouns (I, you, he she)? I would buy it if one character spoke this way. Not everyone speaks that way.
Why, if you constantly get critiques about too many names, do you feel it necessary to name every single person in the story? Trevor, Annie, Carter and the drug overdose people...none of them needed names.
If I could offer a suggestion, if someone isn't in at least two scenes, I would think twice about naming them unless (as I think you were trying here) you are trying to make them a sympathetic element.
So...I am supposed to believe that the Doctor and Ulysses both decided on the exact same medicine to give to him? Anabolic steroids? And what exactly were the janitors supposed to do? A felony for $25?
The desert's quiet, Cleveland's cold, so the story ends we're told. Poncho needs your prayers it's true, but save a few for Lefty too. He only did what he had to do, and now he's growing old. (They played it on the radio...)
You guys are going to be sorry when Poncho's gone and you didn't give him one measly tip of the hat. That's thoughtless indifference to a national institution.
The story's still pretty good in a silly sort of way, but shouldn't the sun be up by now? There's going to be a lot of commuter traffic, and I bet a lot of people are double parked. Can't remember the name of the island in the Arctic where they think the last Mammoths lived. Save that damn pachyderm; I heard some nefarious Zambians were out to get his tusks.
These things should all be getting fives; for balls if nothing else. (Elephants have big balls)
Oh, oh I just felt a rush of blood to the head! The damn Prednisone is kicking in. By for now...