Sudafed with prednisone

Ironic that I'm hopped up on prednisone & some antibiotics that I think are called Godzilla. I've got pneumonia gagantuosa, & lo & behold your story speaks to me. I love the sweet, gentleness of this story, how so many people show their concern & caring. The worst thing after a rape is the loneliness & I'm glad that wasn't part of the mix. You are a joy to read & a gifted writer. I'm moving on to the next installment, happily, because I have the company of a beloved writers stories to help me heal.

Courtship had more red flags pop up than in the annual running of the bulls, yet our put-upon protagonist can't hear the sound of the Mack truck bearing down on him, at full ramming speed.
Goodness, do all such folks have to be possessed of IQs lower than their age? How does this guy manage to dress himself?
Given all that family and friends dished out on him, I'm surprised that: (a) he hadn't been institutionalized; and (b) his revenge was so weak...poison ivy/oak for most folks, a few days of prednisone will handle that.

I met an Armenian girl who was, is, a friend of one of my daughters; petite little girl, long curly black hair, eyes so black they hypnotize. She's just lovely; all perky and saucy. She'll be my next heroine. I showed her this story and she was furious! She wanted to know what was going to happen to poor Poncho and Lefty.
The desert's quiet, Cleveland's cold, so the story ends we're told. Poncho needs your prayers it's true, but save a few for Lefty too. He only did what he had to do, and now he's growing old. (They played it on the radio...)
You guys are going to be sorry when Poncho's gone and you didn't give him one measly tip of the hat. That's thoughtless indifference to a national institution.
The story's still pretty good in a silly sort of way, but shouldn't the sun be up by now? There's going to be a lot of commuter traffic, and I bet a lot of people are double parked. Can't remember the name of the island in the Arctic where they think the last Mammoths lived. Save that damn pachyderm; I heard some nefarious Zambians were out to get his tusks.
These things should all be getting fives; for balls if nothing else. (Elephants have big balls)
Oh, oh I just felt a rush of blood to the head! The damn Prednisone is kicking in. By for now...

Him: Hi Whore
Her: Lol I'll marry you
Him: Wooo I was just thinking about that. Did you read my mind? Are you a witch or something? Well I'm a Christian so I expect you to convert because I ain't gonna be lettin my new whore wife hang out in graveyards with fat angry teenage girls at night smoking clove cigarettes. That ain't proper
Warning: By recruiting your new companion you have caused your reputation with Mattson to drop below zero. Mattson faction units will now attack you on sight
Him: Pfft I don't care. I gotta gun sucka. lol It's the old timey times! DNA and forensic haven't been invented yet and there's a whole lotta nothing to hide a body!
Her: What the hell are you talking about? What did I get myself into?
Him: I'm on top of the world! I just got me a whore wife! She's had a lot of practice with countless partners so you know that will make her a good wife!
Her: I can't help but feel like that was an insult. I can cook too. And faithful
Him: HA! Bullshit. You're a whore I know nothing about. I ain't dumb.
Her: I'm going back to the whore house
Him: No you ain't. You ain't been listening. I says I have a gun. HA yeah see? Goddamn I feel good. It's old timey days! I'm white and a man and going to marry a whore and it don't matter because HIV ain't been invented yet! Too bad for you whore wife cuz we're about to pass the whore house. Coulda saved you a walk
Her: What the hell? We've been going in circles? What the hell have I gotten myself into?
Him: Woooo old timey days! Drinking and driving isn't illegal yet! God damn I'm fucking hard right now. Grab me my lawn darts in the back so I can throw them at the black folks chickens! Hey and also clean up back there. Just throw it outside on the ground. We livin in the good times right now and gotta enjoy it while we can before talking picture boxes make us feel like shit because we put a hole in the sky and make it so it rain acid. OH SHIT I just realized something! It's the old timey times! Stop what you're doing whore wife and take this here nickle and buy me all the boxes of sudafed the chemist has. I got me a little project I think can help us make some money. Use the change to get me something with cocaine in it and morphine if they got it so I can party tonight. I Won't be sharing but you can whore yourself for a buck so you can get something for yourself

Scene: Large room with floor covered in set mousetraps with ping pong balls. You toss in a ping pong ball. Some traps go off. Try again with same response. Try again with same response. Try again with same response. Try again with same response. Try again with same response. Try again with same response...

A story like this makes me appreciate a woman with morals, with character, with ethics, and with honor. She has none.